Thanks Mom and Dad — From Your Gay Son

Dear Mom and Dad,

Me thank youI’m writing this to both of you because without you in my life, I would have never made it to where I am today. I have a friends who support me, people who encourage me, but most importantly I have a family who loves me. I’ve been writing and meeting so many people ever since I started this little blog and one thing I learned is that not everyone is so lucky.  There are people and parents out there who think there are more important things in life than loving their own child. I’ve spoken to people who were abandoned, abused, hurt and forgotten and all I can do is show them that there are people out there like you who love.

Without you I would have never learned how to get through the tough times; my first love, my first loss, my first breakup, my first break down.  I would have never learned how to get through the tough times like going off to college, dealing with bullies, or that time I wanted to quit and dad drug me outside to practice until I ended up getting the game ball.  But most importantly, I would have never learned how to love, and be loved in return.  So mom and dad, thank you.

I remember when I made the step to come out and tell you guys I was dating my first boyfriend.  I was terrified, and looking back now, I don’t have the slightest clue why.  You didn’t yell, you didn’t scream, you didn’t kick me out of the house.  Mom, you told me you loved me and supported me 100%.  My only regret in life now is that I didn’t come out earlier.  It changed my life.  I read stories all the time online about children who get bullied and beaten for being who they are.  My fear is that people read those and think about how horrible it is to come out; how it might happen to them.  But I know there are good stories too, I know there are lights shining through the grey clouds that surround the idea of “coming out”  and being who you are.  You didn’t do that to me.  You loved me.  Unconditionally.  So mom and dad, thank you.

Without parents so much of me would have been lost.  So much guidance  so much learning and so much love.  There are people out there who don’t think children should go to loving parents.  People who think that two dads or two moms can harm a family.  But isn’t it about the child? Isn’t it about knowing that the child, infant, toddler, adolescent teen, or young adult, has someone who they can confide in, share experiences with, and grow alongside?  I’m glad you’re not those parents that are hateful, who think it matters what the “traditional”  family looks like.  It has never been about what the Jones’s have.  It’s been about us. You love me for me. So mom and dad, thank you.

I’m moving out on my own next month into the city.  It’s (hopefully) the last time you’ll see me move away.  But don’t forget that everything you taught me, everything you raised me to be, hopefully one day I will pass onto my kids.  So mom and dad, thank you, you did well and I couldn’t have asked for more.

With much love,


+Matt O’Neill



Filed under Personal

9 responses to “Thanks Mom and Dad — From Your Gay Son

  1. Anonymous

    Matt, that is the sweetest letter to your parents! I’m sure they’ll treasure it forever. I have watched you grow from a little boy into a wonderful and loving man, and I hope I always have you and your parents in my life, they are great friends to Joe and I. You know you always were like another son to me and
    I want to wish you the best of luck in your new apartment. luv u lots, Lori

  2. Pingback: Bullying, Drugs, Guns and Family | terry1954

  3. This is an excellent letter. Your parents are like mine; they love me unconditionally. (Actually, about 99.9% of my huge family are the same!) My husband’s parents are / were the same. We are all so lucky, because not all parents are as loving and understanding as ours (and not just towards gay kids). I’m sure your parents will cherish this forever.

    • Thank you for the kind words! I think it’s important for people to hear both sides of the story. While so many people hear all the negativity around coming out, we also need to hear the positive things about coming out.

      • I totally and completely agree. This is one of the problems with the news media these days: too much negativity. Hope this message finds you all well. Peace from the Antipodes, er, New Zealand!

  4. Anonymous

    you made me cry! what a wonderful person you are!

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