Life Isn’t a Menu

girls night out

I was talking to a friend about our dating lives.  He told me that he can never seem to find Mr. Right.  People were always offering to take him to dinner, woo him with drinks at the bar, and complement his hair, eyes and physic.  Of course he was an attractive guy, had a decent income from a steady job, and had a personality that just made you want to talk for hours.  So why was he still single?  If he wanted a boyfriend he could have easily picked one up months ago, but instead he continues to hunt for that next best thing.  He has what I like to call “restaurant syndrome” — he has a menu of options but can’t decide what he wants.  Life isn’t a menu, you’ll never settle on an order if you keep looking for the next best thing.

Think of a really great restaurant you recently went to.  You go out with friends, order some drinks, maybe an appetizer or two, all in preparation to place your order.  Now looking over the menu there are so many options, you have the pasta dishes, maybe some nice seafood, of course you have your classic burgers and steaks; it all looks so good right?  So of course this leads you being the last one to order because you know that you want the perfect meal and what ever you pick you’ll be stuck with until the next time you come in for a bite to eat.  You want a good (if not great) experience after you commit.

Are you making any connections?

Singles partyThink of the last time you were single.  You go out with friends, grab a few drinks, maybe run into past hook ups that you knew weren’t going to lead anywhere, all in preparation for your hunt to find a partner.  You look around where ever you are (could be a club, bar, restaurant  maybe even a bowling ally) and see all the other eligible bachelors.  So many options.  And may times there will be multiple options you’ll want to pursue.  But you know once you make your choice, you could be stuck with it until the next time your single and out mingling again.  This of course is assuming you’re looking for a relationship and not a one night stand…otherwise your life is more like a fast food restaurant…another post for another day.  Again like with the restaurant analogy above, you want a good (if not great) experience after you commit.

So whats the moral of the story?

Like my friend mentioned at the beginning of this post, life isn’t a menu.  He was always after the next best thing, and because of that mind-set he got himself into, he never gave what he already had a chance.  In today’s society, it’s easier and easier to connect and meet new people.  There are 1000’s of social apps and sites that help you do just that — connect.  If you really want to settle down (and not everyone does) train yourself to focus on one item on the menu at a time.  Taste it, enjoy it, and treat it like it was the only item you wanted.  Otherwise you’ll continually think about all those other options and never have a good experience.

+Matt O’Neill



Filed under Personal

5 responses to “Life Isn’t a Menu

  1. Brian FENG

    Your points are great, I totally agree. Life actually is not so long as many young people may fancy about it…time is sneaking away quickly while we busy with picking the next best order…so settle down earlier and start to enjoy the inner peace of life earlier which only a family could offer. All the best to u.

    • Well thank you! And I understand not everyone is looking for that, but if they are…be happy with what you have, if you’re always looking for something better…you’ll never see what is right in front of you.

  2. Not sure as to why I’m still single, probably because I want to be with guy’s that are basically out of my league but I don’t realize it. As for the restaurant syndrome that is not my issue. Because when at a restaurant it’s not hard deciding what I want because I’m looking for the best thing. It’s because I want it all or a little of everything but then I look at the cost and say no way. I like to think I know what I want but lately I’m starting to wonder do I want a relationship or FWB, Hookups don’t exist in my life. If you become a hookup for me it’s because you just aren’t my type in person. I know in my heart I want to be happy and in a relationship, but finding that is so hard for me. As for social apps I’m on a small handful and have made friends on them but the friends never go any further. Me and you should have a one on one discussion about all this. After all your a good friend with good advice.

    • It’s all about what makes you the most happy. If you can not confidently say that you want a relationship…then maybe you just aren’t ready for one. AND THAT IS OK! There is no rule in life that you can only be happy when you’re with someone.

  3. Interesting, as an older guy looking back on the scene it’s so true. When I was in the “prowling” age category what you portray was still very real. When I met the love of my life we went through that dance for a while until we both woke up. Sadly he died some years ago but it makes me smile to see that people still have the same issues in finding the “one.”

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