I was talking to a friend about our dating lives. He told me that he can never seem to find Mr. Right. People were always offering to take him to dinner, woo him with drinks at the bar, and complement his hair, eyes and physic. Of course he was an attractive guy, had a decent income from a steady job, and had a personality that just made you want to talk for hours. So why was he still single? If he wanted a boyfriend he could have easily picked one up months ago, but instead he continues to hunt for that next best thing. He has what I like to call “restaurant syndrome” — he has a menu of options but can’t decide what he wants. Life isn’t a menu, you’ll never settle on an order if you keep looking for the next best thing.
Think of a really great restaurant you recently went to. You go out with friends, order some drinks, maybe an appetizer or two, all in preparation to place your order. Now looking over the menu there are so many options, you have the pasta dishes, maybe some nice seafood, of course you have your classic burgers and steaks; it all looks so good right? So of course this leads you being the last one to order because you know that you want the perfect meal and what ever you pick you’ll be stuck with until the next time you come in for a bite to eat. You want a good (if not great) experience after you commit.
Are you making any connections?
Think of the last time you were single. You go out with friends, grab a few drinks, maybe run into past hook ups that you knew weren’t going to lead anywhere, all in preparation for your hunt to find a partner. You look around where ever you are (could be a club, bar, restaurant maybe even a bowling ally) and see all the other eligible bachelors. So many options. And may times there will be multiple options you’ll want to pursue. But you know once you make your choice, you could be stuck with it until the next time your single and out mingling again. This of course is assuming you’re looking for a relationship and not a one night stand…otherwise your life is more like a fast food restaurant…another post for another day. Again like with the restaurant analogy above, you want a good (if not great) experience after you commit.
So whats the moral of the story?
Like my friend mentioned at the beginning of this post, life isn’t a menu. He was always after the next best thing, and because of that mind-set he got himself into, he never gave what he already had a chance. In today’s society, it’s easier and easier to connect and meet new people. There are 1000’s of social apps and sites that help you do just that — connect. If you really want to settle down (and not everyone does) train yourself to focus on one item on the menu at a time. Taste it, enjoy it, and treat it like it was the only item you wanted. Otherwise you’ll continually think about all those other options and never have a good experience.