Don’t Break Bro Code

bro codeDating back to the dawn of man, there has always been one unspoken rule.  It’s called…the bro code.  It’s a sacred, cherished tradition that has long been upheld between groups of friends.  No women will ever understand, as this ancient language is about as cryptic as Davinci’s Code, as mysterious as the Chupacabra and as mind blowing as the thought of the Mona Lisa painting really being a REALLY gay man (Google it).  It is the one sacred scripture that boys and men alike grow up instinctively understanding, and today I’m going to shed light on three key areas that at times…bros seem to forget.

You’re not a guest in my house, you’re family.

Matt O'Neill

Taking an 8 hour nap.

My friends had a small party a year or so ago and we all ended up drinking a little too much.  It was alright though, the hosts of the party were always accommodating to guests, letting us stay over when and as we wished.  We could share their food, help clean, cook, even do laundry.  We were part of the family.  Many times the hosts could leave and go about their day trusting that we would not do any harm to their house.  One morning though after many of the guest had left, my friends and I were cleaning up and we realized that hundreds of dollars worth of electronics had gone missing!  After some searching and hunting we found out that one of our good friends stole the equipment and ended up trying to sell it on Craigs List later that afternoon!!  We found out and after a few death threats, and a phone call to the police…the electronics were returned.

Moral of the story:  When you’re one of the bros, you are trusted to be mature enough to be left alone by yourself.  Friends don’t steal from others (or steal in general).  It breaks the trust between not only you and your friends, but could also place other friends on high alert.  In turn this might cause everyone to become a little more protective, resulting in a little less fun for everyone.

No matter how wrong you are, I still have your back.

Got your back

There are to many stories for me to tell when it comes to this rule.  This can apply to any one of the following:

  • Friends venting about their fights with partners/other friends
  • Venting about school, parents, or any other authoritative figures (excluding politics)
  • Fights (Though in the words of South Park’s Mr. Mackey: “Fighting is bad M’kay?”)
  • Self conscious issues
  • Bar bets against other groups of friends, regarding sports, chicks, dudes, or any other illegal wager options.

Don’t sleep with the person I’m seeing.

sleeping together

If your friend is seeing someone, no matter how much you wanna bang them, bring them home, fool around, whatever — it is not ok.  I had an old friend of mine one time get really drunk with the person I was with.  They ended up going home sleeping together.  From personal experience…it is one of the worst feelings in the world when the people you trust break this line of the bro code.  Needless to say, neither of those people are in my life any longer because of the broken code.

Moral of the story: If you do not think you can control yourself around someone that you know you have to, then don’t be around them.  Once something like this happens, it can have a ripple effect not only effecting those involved but everyone else who knows you best.  If you can not control yourself for what ever reason…don’t place yourself in that situation.  That’s some Jerry Springer shit.

For those guys out there, we all know there are plenty of other rules that should never be crossed but these are only a few.

If you want, download my 20 Most Important Rules of Bro Code today, and let me know what you think.  

What rules do you and your friends live by?

+Matt O’Neill



Filed under Personal

9 responses to “Don’t Break Bro Code

  1. If Mona Lisa was a gay man that would explain so much.

  2. matmonroe

    Totally agree !

  3. Alex Jones

    Breaking the “Bro Code” keeps the Jerry Springer industry in business.

  4. Anonymous

    *YOU’RE not a guest in my house. Did we know 1st grade English??

  5. Anonymous

    Sorry that your friend did that to you. Not surprised that the guy you were dating (SA) did that. He has quite a history(some of which you may not even know) and believes he should be able to do what he wants and get away with it because he is cute. He uses people. You are better off without him.

  6. Hmm…I’m Sicilian American and our rule is what happens in the family stays in the family. We deal with our own issues. This is also an attribute of the bro code, we take care of our own 😉

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