In response to my last post, My Poo Will Help You Grow – Part 1, it’s now time to discover how to deflect the poo that was thrown at you.
So let me set the scene:
- You’ve been fighting with a friend (probably drunk)
- You said some things
- They said some things
- You apologize
- They apologize
Much like the scene below from South Park:
The funny part is…that is the sort of fight I’m referring to! So if you aren’t quite sure you know how to be the bigger man and move on from this, my Part 1 is for you. But if you are now at the point of reflecting on those hurtful poop flings that your partner threw, here a guide to getting over the sting (or smell in the case of poo).
Reflect on what’s been said – People don’t just say things typically. There is usually a motive behind chosen statements. What ever was said about your personality or performance, know that there must have been a trigger for the other person to have said it. Think carefully about why they might have brought it up, what they meant by it, and why they would remember details like that about your own life.
This leaves you with two options:
- Accept the accusation – Take everything with a grain of salt. Understand that it is only one person’s opinion but understand that they also might have been the only one to have said something. This is where the saying, “I’m only telling you because I love you” comes into play. They might be saying something to help you, even if the words do not come out exactly as you would have hoped.
- Reject the accusation and fix the error – Sometimes the truth hurts. It doesn’t mean you are branded with the label (though now it may feel like it). Everyone is in charge of their own destiny and therefore you have the ability to change. Don’t do it to please others, do it for yourself. It’s the best part about life, no matter how upset or frustrated you are with anyone or anything, you can ALWAYS change course.
Example: Let’s assume you sleep around and your friend called you a whore.
Think about why your friend thinks you’re a whore. Do you sleep around a lot (or at least more than them), have you been with someone who they were interested in or liked, or do you just flaunt it a lot? You now have one of two options, accept that yes you do sleep around and like to have fun (nothing wrong with that) or you can take it as criticism and fix it so you no longer carry that title. Both options are totally okay to pursue, it’s just up to your own ideas and feelings with how you want to go on from here.
Moral of both these parts is that fights can be good, and whether you are right or wrong, there is usually:
A) A reason you fought
B) A moral to the fight regardless of who was right or wrong
Find out how to be the better man a apologize as well as take something away from the fight to turn it from a heated debate into a learning experience.