The Issue With My Flirting

FlirtingI was speaking to my friend the other day and he told me that when it comes to my lifestyle, he could see that I was ready to be in a relationship, BUT he also understood that I really liked my single life and the freedom it gave me to flirt with others as I choose. It made me think about some of my recent life choices and he was right; the freedom I have right now as a bachelor living in the city in my young twenties, has given me the ability to take a step back from the stresses of worrying about flirtatious repercussions. What I would like to make clear though that in this day and age where there are a million different ways to interact with other people, my choice and methods of speaking to someone in no way demonstrates that I am in fact not ready for a relationship. The only issue? I had already put myself forward as someone who likes to flirt and therefore not many people see my datable attitude.

Here’s a story:

I knew a kid once that REALLY wanted a boyfriend. It was a while since he had his last one and he felt he was ready to get back into the game with that special someone. He began looking for dates and it in turn led to a few minor one time coffee shop encounters. But what ended up happening was every time they met said kid (we can call him Timmy) they never wanted to follow-up with another date!

What happened?

flirting at a barI met with Timmy one day and we sat down and talked about his dating habits.  Is there continuous conversation? Yes. Did you have anything in common with them? Yes. Do you talk about seeing one another again? Yes. So what is it?!? I took a little time to think it all over and finally came to a conclusion. Timmy was so promiscuous with his single life that people ended up reconsidering their choice of going out on a second date with poor Timmy because they thought he was easy! What…a…shame…

So where is Timmy Today?

Timmy now has a boyfriend. After I spoke with him, Timmy reluctantly took my advice to get off at the next exit from his ride on the Ho Train. He and his partner are very happy and things seem to be going well.

My Conclusion:

cuddling on the couchOne’s image can really affect the way people perceive you when it comes to looking for that perfect person. If you are going out and enjoying your single life, like Timmy did, you may learn that it becomes difficult to get into a relationship when the time is right. I’ve learned this through a few failed attempts myself. But there needs to be a point in time when you show that yes, you can be dated. I’m not saying it needs to happen all the time, because let’s face it, no one wants to be tied down if the other person is not ready to commit, BUT if you want to prove to someone that you are in fact ready to date…you better be able to spend that Saturday night in with them, popping open that bottle of wine while watching some cheesy chick flick together, just to enjoy the company.

Have you ever encountered this and either stopped talking to someone or they stopped talking to you?



Filed under Personal

3 responses to “The Issue With My Flirting

  1. ok, So what about someone that may come across as promiscuous online but in real life the aren’t? Or someone that may flirt a lot online and come across as if he is trying to get into your pants but all he really wants is human companionship and a relationship? Or someone that is shy and not sure how to ask someone out in person, but online will chat up a storm and flirt like no tomorrow? What advice to you have for them?

    • Remember that if people are willing to speak with you online and you are able to hold an engaging conversation, then there is no reason why that conversation cannot be translated over to face to face interactions. I’ll write more about this topic in this week’s blog 🙂

  2. Pingback: Taking it Offline « My Inner Most Thinking

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