The Problem with First Date Sex

Beach loveThe most exciting part about a relationship is when you finally strip someone down to see what they are packin’.  Come on ladies we all know that while you like to be wined and dined, whats on the back of everyone’s mind is, “I wonder what’s under those clothes.”  So do you wait or do you go at it the first night?  Everyone has their own opinions as to when they feel it’s right to have sex but what is the impact of having sex at early stages of the relationship?

Part of the excitement of getting “freaky” is that you are experiencing someone else in one of life’s greatest joys.  While a lot of people think that guys just want to have sex, research shows that guys will find sex as a more intimate affair than women will.  The reason is that women understand that they can go out and find a guy any night of the week, while guys have to work to get back into a ladies bed.  This is probably why sex is not seen as a passionate thing for many gay males.  Sex is a much more common and normal thing to come across when my friends and I are out.  But how damaging is this to the actual relationship?

Couple BoredWhen the sex runs dry…so will the relationship.  Many people have experienced this scenario.  You began to date someone and have sex with them at the very early stages of the relationship.  After a few weeks, or months, there is not much else that the relationship has been built on and as a result the your interest dries up.  While sex is expected when you hang out with that person, there is no way to put on the brakes.  You’ve now got the ball rolling with someone whom you no longer have an interest in pursuing.

So no what?  Here are some quick options that might spice up a stale relationship:

  1. Go sex toy shopping – Both gay and straight couples will find this interesting.  If you find the right sex store (and not one of those corner porn shops) you may get yourselves talking to one another and it may result in finding out more about one another or you both trying something new.
  2. Couple outsideTake more outdoor dates – If you are trying to slow things down, the best way to avoid sex without directly bringing it up is to not be in a place where it can happen.  Go to places that are not appropriate for be two sexual.  This will create a good atmosphere to talk about common interests
  3. Get your period – Alright go ahead and laugh.  I know it’s not really a “spice up” option and you ladies can not really force your time of month BUT take advantage of it by using it as a way to talk and go out.  You may be moody and upset, and all you may want to do is eat, but your man might be able to make you feel better with a really fun date.

Using one of these methods might help you stray away from the boring non-interesting sex, without necessarily  having to stop.  It’ll also give you a chance to get to know the person better.  The sex might be great, so why not see if you are able to get more out of it by taking a chance with his personality?

And if all else fails and you really do need to end it…there’s always the “I’m an illegal immigrant and am getting deported so don’t talk to me anymore” option.



Filed under Personal

6 responses to “The Problem with First Date Sex

  1. Eric Kramer

    Hey what’s up Matt. You spelled clothes wrong in the first paragraph

  2. For me sex is an added bonus to a relationship. But me and whoever I am dating wouldn’t have sex together until we both feel it is right. And despite how easy some people may think it is for a gay male to find sex. It is not easy at all. I speak from experience. It is not easy for me to find sex at all. Now this may be do to the fact that I am interested in almost my exact opposite at least in appearance. But I guess it could go back to the old if you want something don’t go looking for it let it find you. Easy to say but oh so hard to do. LOL

    • Sometimes that’s the issue is you might like someone totally different in appearance but are you the type of appearance they like?

      • Good question. Or their is the ever popular “I like you more as a friend.” or “Your such a great guy. I don’t know why your still single.” I hate hearing both of these responses. After I get over the anger of hearing it I take a dive in the emotions department.

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