How do you consider ending a multi-year relationship?

Couple fightingYou’ve been in a relationship for a few years and you feel there just isn’t that spark anymore.  You thought of trying to end it, but you don’t know how.  Being attached to someone for that long you may feel you have been stuck in a rut and routine, or that you don’t even remember how to date.  But you know now that since the person has changed, either personally or physically, you are not ment to be together.  This is one of the worst  battles one can fight internally.  There is no easy way to end a relationship when you both have so much history.  So the goal is to let them down, but not in a way that will destroy you and what you had, while not destroying the other person either.  How do you consider ending a multi-year relationship?

There are a few things to consider before letting the knot loosen because you don’t want to make a mistake.  Everyone has a few lulls in their relationships, so consider is this just be a period of ease where one just needs to find a way to spice things up?  Consider the following three points before starting the breakup conversation:

  • Do you see yourself with that person in 5, 10, 15 years down the road?
  • Do you still think you have similar qualities with one another?
  • Does that person still make you happy and laugh?

Now these certainly aren’t the only things that need to be considered but these are the points that I feel are strongest in a relationship.  For starters if you can in no way see yourself with that person in even 5 years, then there is something really wrong with the relationship.  You need to always remember that if you are dating that person, you are doing in order to find a life partner, not an occasional friend.  If you no longer have similar interests consider why.  Have you or their interests changed and if so, have they changed to something that you may want to consider as an interest of your own as well?  Sometimes being stuck in that rut is because one or both of you have become stagnant in life.  Finding a new hobby, or a new passion can drastically alter your feeling for them.  And finally the key to life is being happy.  Do and be with whomever makes you smile.  It will not only make you feel good to come home, but it will increase your overall attitude with work, sports, or any other activities you may be involved in.  Happy coupleA smile is contagious, so sometimes it might just be that you need to show a sense of positivity towards your partner to help increase their spirits as well.

Remember that there was a reason why you were attracted to that person in the first place, try to hold onto that and really think about the next step of having “the talk.”  You don’t what to destroy something so perfect to only realize down the road that it was a mistake.  Sometimes mistakes are irreversible.

What are some of the longest relationships you have had and how did they end?  Is there still a spark there and if so, how do you keep the relationship fresh?



Filed under Personal

5 responses to “How do you consider ending a multi-year relationship?

  1. Well my longest relationship was 3 years with a girl. And we broke it off just by deciding we had both drifted apart. We are still to this day best friends and I am considered uncle to her daughter. Now I have not been in a relationship with a guy yet. Haven’t found a guy that is interested in me yet that I am interested in them. As for ending a relationship you have to think out what you will say first and remember to be thoughtful of your partner.

  2. If you are faced with an affair don’t just think that things may workout on its own. One needs to face them and cope with them. Also I think that it’s really important to know if the partner is absolutely sorry and also feeling terrible about their extramarital relationship or not. Always keep the communication going great.
    Have a nice day.

    Have a nice day.

  3. Grand article ! Comme il est dcrit et expdies rapidement . Merci !

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