I’m An Addict

Love AddictionYou’ve been dating someone for a few weeks now and it’s time to figure out if you should hit it or quit it.  When is the right time to finally commit and when does that area of grey move from dating to dragging?  There’s a huge difference between giving a guy six weeks to choose you over the other people he’s dating… and to be a sucker for hanging around when they aren’t ready or not willing to date.

I recently read an article that stated that it should take a man six to eight weeks to figure out if they want to date you or not.  This obviously means that there are people who have that “love at first sight moment” while others take their time to carefully deliberate who thy are seeing and if they value your time.  I know from personal experience that I’ve been going through hoops with someone for almost six months trying to deliberate if it’s going to be worth it or not from both of our ends.  I think it comes down to three main points that someone should consider:

1. Do they make you happy?

2. Do you enjoy spending time with them?

3. Could you see yourself wanting to spend more time with them?

Love is housed in the same section of your brain as addiction.  Love is an addiction.  Think about every relationship you have been in or tried to be in.  When you lackLove Addiction the companionship that you are looking for, you result in going through a feeling very close to “withdraw.”  That’s why I feel that the above three points are crucial to any relationship.  If you develop that “addiction” for another human being, you will be inseparable.  When a drug addict does drugs, it’s not because they like the look of crack, it’s because they are happy, they like having it around, and they want more of it.  No one shares similar qualities to crack, no one would spend an afternoon doing the same thing as crack (I guess that would consist of just lying around waiting to be smoked…).  If you have enough in common with the person you will create that connection and that addiction.  When the pieces have fallen, and you are in that moment with your partner, do you feel that excitement and that high that you want.

Heart BrokenI look back at what I had with past relationships and I realize that while my emotions for people varied greatly, it was about being happy and being with them that made it so special.  And when the relationship ended, that craving and withdraw from the other person was severed.  Both parties found relief one way or another, whether it was moving to someone new to feed that addiction, or experiencing the rehabilitation of not being able to satisfy their crave.  And just like rehab centers, everyone has that support system they need to get over it through friends and family.  And in time, everyone will find that new addiction and that new way to fill that craving that every human needs and desires.

Comment below on your addiction stories and how you went through the “withdraw” period and was it easy or difficult for you.  Share your stories!

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “I’m An Addict

  1. Charlie

    I totally agree the three points you mention are probably the most important. I think it’s also good to understand that you’ll never change the other person’s habits or personality, so they had better be ones you can live with. I suppose this falls under “does he make you happy” but it helps to remember that you’ll fail utterly (and make you and he miserable) if you try to change, improve him, or make him a different person. It’s best to look at the potential partner with eyes wide open, and know exactly what you’re getting into.

  2. Al

    It’s that addiction that keeps many people going in a cycle of moving to next, to the next, to the next without skipping a beat. Like moving from one addictive substance to another. I think developing they type of feelings – in a healthy way – for oneself can help to break the cycle and the feelings of thinking that one needs another in their life to be happy.

  3. Pingback: Five Do’s and Don’ts of Casual Dating | My Inner Most Thinking

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