I’m sorry I’m yet again a day late for the weekend update but I’ve been very busy with work. It ended up being a blessing in disguise because I have a much different topic to discuss today. As of last night I am no longer in any level of relationship with anyone. I was actually just 3 days prior pretty much in a committed relationship that lasted a total of about 72 hours. But that’s just my life! I had been talking to this kid for a couple of months now and we had our ups and downs. Recently we discussed actually being in a committed relationship. As of this past weekend, we told people we were. As of last night, we longer were. So the infamous C words I’m relating to is commitment, compromises and core values. What does it mean to be in a committed relationship, what are the compromises that come along with that, and what are core values that one isn’t willing to budge on?
Like I said I was in a legitimate 72 hour relationship. I think that makes my relationship about as successful as Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’s was. So lets break it down those C words and see where we went wrong.
Commitment – It took us 5 months but we finally agreed to become exclusive. Once exclusive I told him that 90% of my lifestyle was going to have to change. I was, and I guess still am, a social butterfly. I love going out and I love meeting and talking with various people. Now in a relationship I would have to pull back the reins and not flirt so much with other people, not drunkenly make out with people, and definitely not try to sleep with my friends while I was blacked out drunk. He would have had to have toned back a little of his flirting too, and maybe have gone out a little more to with me so we could be seen out together.
When two people get together the need to learn that there is a level of unity that they both will have to form, neither person can just continue to do what they did 100% while they were single. When you agree to be with someone, you are also agreeing to be part of their lifestyle as well as yours.
Compromise – I would have had to have stayed in for him on the weekends to spend some time with him like I did while he was sick or like I did once we became exclusive this past Friday. He would have had to have been willing to come see my friends outside the city once in a while, and deal with my overly drunkenness that usually ensued every time I went out with my other friends.
Both parties need to learn that they are not catering to only themselves. While they would like to do their own thing once in a while, you need to be respectful of other’s lifestyles. If they want to be with you, they will make an effort just like you should, to take part in what each other enjoy doing even if it’s not the norm.
Core values – I’m not even really sure what to explain about this. We got along great, I felt (and usually did) I could tell him anything and he wouldn’t judge. We both seemed very comfortable around one another. He told me plenty of personal stories because he knew I could be trusted with his personal life and vice-versa.
Neither partner should stray from their core beliefs but know that when you get into a relationship, you are there to be open and honest. If you can’t do that then you have nothing else to base your relationship on. What other things do you think are vital for a relationship to work, comment below!
Be sure to check out my guest blogs that will begin being posted on Philly Gay Callender later this week. I’m very excited to begin covering some of the local LGBTQ events in the Philadelphia area!